yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
