Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
