I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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