Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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