some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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