I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
