just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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