so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
