trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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