Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
