If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My penis needs a shock collar
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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