How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
