I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
