if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
being pregnant is like rehab
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
