My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
