you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
