just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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