you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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