i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
