PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Are we still banned from the library?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
