I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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