Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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