Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
