turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
