I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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