I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
