found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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