I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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