sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
