she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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