my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
