I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
handjob tips. give me some.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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