Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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