he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need water and some morals
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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