those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
