i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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