guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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