With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
