This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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