Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
