I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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