Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
