...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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