What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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