Apparently you make a good broom.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
