I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
