The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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