You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
