I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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