I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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