is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
