Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
