If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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