It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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